and then some.

i haven't written in such a long while. i mean to daily but somehow time slips away from me. it falls to the bottom of my mundane to dos. i've always struggled with balance (as you know if you read my blog). so much is happening in my world these days.  being a new owner of a clothing boutique with my mom and sister is of the newest. the adventure started brewing in august but didn't become official and public until September 15th. it has always been a dream of mine to own a boutique with my family and the opportunity presented itself so unexpected but it was something we could not pass up ~ a gift that was graciously accepted. so i now am back in the working world. working 30+ hours in and out of the store. learning so many things. i hadn't a clue to fashion but its actually quite exciting. i had worked briefly in retail prior but being an employee is quite different than being an owner! but i have a great mentor; my momma. it is so touching to see her interact with customers that value her opinion and come in specifically to see her. (she had been an employee at Elodie and managing the store before we took over ownership)

each day brings something new. i am either working or momma or creating my art. it feels great to be contributing financially to my family again and in doing something that i am passionate about. how great is that? so why does my heart weigh heavy this morning? sleep deprivation could be a part of it. baby a has had many sleepless nights this week and somehow i always end up the one being up with him. i don't know if its his teeth or bad dreams but he wakes up around 3am crying out and can not be comforted to go back to sleep. so we watch cartoons for about an hour when he falls asleep cuddling me and then i lay him back down for a few more hours of sleep. can i fall back asleep then? oh no. my mind starts to tally the day ahead to dos. so i end up maybe getting 20 minutes of sleep before its time to get up with the rest of the house. and last night baby a was up off and on all night with the start of yet another cold. the poor lil guy couldn't breath through his nose so i laid him down in the bed next to me which you know just leads to you Not sleeping because you are so aware of him being right there and you hear every lil cough and feel every lil kick. oh how long the day will be.

Baby Froehle Shower

my lil sister J is having a baby!! i recently had the pleasure of planning her baby shower and wanted to show you all the details. whenever i am starting to plan an event i make an inspiration board with ideas pulled from the dandy internet. i start by discussing with the host what they are looking for; theme & colors, etc. for J, she was really open to whatever as long as i incorporated her colors + elephants. (l♥v having creative power) here's her inspiration board...

from here i went into plan & design mode.

thanks to Nicole here are some pictures from the shower...

hope you enjoyed your shower J! i loved planning it!

thank you to Mom, A & N for hosting!!

A + me + J

at the end of the day

at the end of the day, you have done all that you could. so many things are out of our hands and up to the universe. all we can do is pray. and sometimes are prayers are answered. . .. ☺

first days

today was the first day of school for my godson alex. i sat and reminisced over the memories of the last five years of his life and how quickly they have passed. he is who taught me the definition of love at first sight. when i met him the day he was born i fell instantaneously in love. it is hard to put into words what my heart + soul felt in that moment. and it wasn't until baby a was born i felt it all over again. there is a difference in feeling an instant connection with someone and love at first sight.

alex is the the definition of boy wonder. he has a photographic memory and is full of did you knows and animal wisdom. he is sensitive and kind and very witty. i know he will do wonderfully in school i just can't believe the day is already here! baby a and i wanted to wish him well on his new venture so we sent him this picture message to view before heading to the bus stop.

of course this was during a's mickey mouse time so he was a little distracted.

his momma sent us this picture of him waiting for the bus. so proud of you alex! may school bring you much knowledge and new friends. can't wait to hear all about what you are learning!!

currently buzzing in my head.. .. .

how do you catch a cold when you are ALREADY suffering from allergies?
i probably should be napping while he is.
why can't i ever sleep through the night?
need to wrap up all the details for my sisters shower.
tired of waiting for a Go-ahead for our venture. damn the man!
why does he bark like mad when i take his picture?? what the hell is his problem?
what am i making for dinner ~ maybe someone else can cook tonight.
how can i make my etsy more successful??
the mickey mouse theme song on repeat.
why haven't i learned how to sew?
is my nephew already starting kindergarten? where the hell did the last 5 yrs go?!
it is days like today why i still live here.

the weight of it all

i can feel the tears swelling, just waiting for me to allow them to come. i am so overwhelmed with my emos today and i realize they are stemming mostly from hormones. i can't seem to get my mind to rest these nights and my anxiety seems to bubbling in my veins. there is so much change amongst us its hard to stay in the optimistic mindset. i'm usually a very optimistic person, believing that we have the power to create what we want to be present in our lives. (good + bad)

i've never worried about money. i'm neither frivolous nor frugal, somewhere in the middle i guess. but these days i feel like money is being sucked right out the window. not having a full-time steady income is obvious showing its results. it was a bold move to step away from a comfort zone of a biweekly paycheck but one i knew i had to make. i couldn't stay where money was the only motivator. but now i can see the weight i have placed on my husbands shoulders and cannot help but feel that i was selfish in my decision. trying to keep the faith in myself is a bit of a struggle when i can see the effects it is causing in my family. it was never my intention to have him be the provider. my desire was to be able to spend more time with my son and to provide by selling my creations.

meanwhile, another opportunity has presented itself in my life as well as my family's. its very unexpected and very appealing to us all. something i cannot currently go into deal here but hope to be able to very soon. all i can say is that it is moving at full speed and causing a mix of emotions for us all. trying to manifest the best possible outcome and to see that the reason its presented itself is so we can do what we've only dreamed of being able to do together. *this is how i am able to believe we create what we desire.

so i'm trying to keep my head above water. remain optimistic and not let my anxieties take control. i am craving 8 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. without the aid of a sleeping pill ~ i refuse to take those lil buggers.

reminder to self

100% committed

hello . .. are you there?!

sometimes i get so wrapped up in my world that i find myself calling to myself ~ hello, are you there?!   meaning that i get so busy with filling others needs that i forget to check in with me and take care of her too. does this make sense? let me try to better explain my thoughts here...

with the daily diaper changes, feedings and playtime and the pet me, scratch me, let me outside, and the dinner made, laundry washed, floors cleaned, story time and ahh sweet, sweet bedtime, when do i actually check in with her?

i was self reflecting after spending sunday afternoon with my sisters, mother, nephew and son, oh and the two crazy very needy dogs. (chaos? why yes, a lil) we were planning my youngest sisters baby shower (or trying to) and i was feeling pulled in the following directions: one part of my mind creating ideas invites, games and inspiration for a theme and another part on what is my son into now, another part on listening to my pregnant sisters talk clothes, another part listening to my nephews did you knows, another part hushing the non stop barking of the dogs. i should note that by sunday i am pretty frazzled from the long week i've already had. i never seem to get any "me" time in. anyway, i decided to gather the troops and quickly run a few errands before baby a needed his nap. i was zeroed in at getting at least one thing off the to do list, leading the pack in and out of a few stores. and then leaving them to venture to the next stop without us because baby was so ready for nap. ahh, quiet time. nope because my dogs BARk at every lil noise they hear. and the very friendly neighbor wants to chat and then the troops are back and the dogs have woken up baby. damn it.

after everybody left i felt horrible for my distracted slightly cranky mood. they even called later to see how i was doing. i certainly didn't show that i had it all together did i? they expressed concern that i drink too much caffeine and don't eat enough food. can you blame me? i need the caffeine to function and who has time to eat?! (ok, i know that i need to get this in check, i am working on it) but also concerned that i am stretching myself to the limit in so many directions. but as i have mentioned before, i have a lil chaos in my world but somehow i love my chaos. i like switching gears and being involved in a number of things but currently having a lil trouble with my balancing act.

i am getting away from where i was going with on this post. (a.d.d, sorry) i've noted that i need to keep her in the top priorities and constantly check in. but in all my bitching here the question is: am i happy? hell yes i am happy! i have so many wonderful elements to be happy about. and i started last night by taking the time to be pampered and went and had my hair done last night. any lady knows this is a wonderful treatment and way to spend time with yourself ☺

i may be 30 but it doesn't mean i am going to let myself go and be boring!

what i've got

so blessed and beyond touched by all the beautiful birthday wishes + gifts! what a wonderful start to 30!!  i feel compelled to list out how truly fortunate i am for the presence of the following in my life:

♥ my amazing son
♥ my beloved husband
♥ my cozy home

♥ my dedicated family

♥ my encouraging friends

♥ my fun-loving dogs

♥ my good health 

♥ my heartfelt creativity

♥ my interminable spirituality

♥ my journey of momma-hood
♥ my kindhearted father
♥ my lamb-like nephews and niece
♥ my magnificent mother
♥ my never-ending inspiration
♥ my obtainable goals
♥ my persistent drive
♥ my quiet times
♥ my relentless curiosity
♥ my sensible sobriety
♥ my tangible truth
♥ my unbelievable sisters
♥ my valiant efforts
♥ my wholehearted support
♥ my youthful heart
♥ my zealous personality

ready for business!

okay so i am a Huge procrastinator and perfectionist. those pesky lil inner critics critiquing Every lil detail holding me back from taking the actual plunge of opening up shop. i've always worked best under pressure but wow-wee did i do a number on myself this time. let me back up here. ..
i've mentioned before but i used to have a business called dewdrop creative. i made a collaboration of artsy things and sold in a few stores and at craft sales. the craft sales is where it got to me. people looking at your work that you put your heart into and i felt judgement - good + bad. i couldn't step away from that it just might not be their style. i took my work very seriously as an inner reflection. when really sometimes it was just the venue i was at. anyways, it became forced and my passion for creating was dwindling. but now looking back, it was all just part of the making into something bigger and better ☺

taking time away gave me a chance to reflect and grow from the things i've learned. things i will not do and things i will do better. my biggest struggle now is time management! i'm a busy girl being pulled into a million different directions but i kinda love my chaos! i love being able to do a variety of things and play a variety of roles in my life. it keeps me full and ever changing.

back to my inner critics. i kept hearing what if nothing sells, what if no one likes my style, how do i do this, is it worth all the questions and concerns and time i am spending on creating??? the answers i've come to terms with: YES it is worth it because art is my passion and it keeps me going. if nothing sells and nobody like my work its okay! ultimately i am doing this work for myself. creating makes me feel alive and its a big part of who i am. i need to give this a chance and time and yes i will run into glitches and its all part of the learning. so here goes...

my shop is ready for business
http://www.etsy.com/shop/souLnaKed

30 for my thirtieth

on saturday i celebrated my thirtieth birthday with my family and a few close friends (even though my birthday is technically wednesday). my parents put together a gift of 30 things for my thirtieth. this gift touched me so i had to share it here. my mother knows me so well and i could see all the thought and planning she put into this very heartfelt gift. the picture doesn't do its justice so i've decided to give you a lil descriptive meaning of each item.

1-4. a picture of my grandmother casey & 3 of her pins. the first gift i opened brought me to tears.  a little pouch with 3 pins that i recognized as my grandmothers. and inside was a framed picture of her. i remember this picture growing up was one of my favorites. in the picture she sits happily with her pup on her lap. (she had a soft spot in her heart for her dogs) its exactly how i remember her.

5. a wooden box. i laughed when i saw it because it belonged on my moms dresser. she knew i admired it so.

6-8. healing stones. i've always been a collector of rocks and stones. there was a purple amethyst (one of my favorites), rose quartz and a clear stone with a dove. all which will bring me peace.

9-11. tasty treats. i have a love for candy and chocolate. mike & ikes, junior mints and dove chocolate (which is the BEST chocolate).

12-13. beverages. i live on caffeine and my favorites are rockstar and coffee. so she found a coffee rockstar and a new flavor i have yet to try.

14-17. jewelry. my mother has a fantastic and rather large collection of jewelry. i had told her once i admired this ring of hers that is a sparkly lizard. and as i noted above my love for stones, there was a necklace with earth tone stones on it. and a silver bracelet that was my grandmother casey's. also, a simple charm stating love. (i love to wear words)

18-22. favorite artists. 2 of my favorites are kelly rae roberts and christine mason miller. their work speaks to my soul and i can't get enough of their inspiration. i received 2 plaques, a bookmark, and a magnet from kelly's collection. and a bookmark from christine's collection.

23-24. quotable. i love quotes that speak to my heart and soul. especially ones i can apply to my everyday life. she found a quotable magnet and a quote from the velveteen rabbit (a childhood favorite).

25. young creator. a scroll of a self portrait and story i had written in the fifth grade. funny the things you save as a mother. i had a passion back then even for art and writing.

26. moody. a ha ha sign stating caution PMS zone. that is pretty funny, maybe i can place it on my husbands pillow in the future ☺

27. sparkle box. i love all things that sparkle and also have a love for boxes and containers. this is a perfect addition to my collection.

28. lil character keyring. i love random cartoons and characters, those that make me smile and laugh. this lil girl keyring she found is perfect.

29. shirt. i'm not one to spend my money on clothes so its fitting that she'd find a way to get an article of clothing in there. 

30. birthday girl. those of you who know me know i heart birthdays and especially love to celebrate my own ☺. i believe we all should, its the day we were blessed into this world and a day of starting a new year ( i'm not real into new years day) this is my marking of a new year. how perfect that she found me a party hat with bright feather and jewels to wear on my night of celebration. i may just wear it all week!

thank you momma & dad for this very unique gift. thank you All for your gifts, even though i didn't list it above your gifts also mean alot to me, you All know me very well. thank you all for coming to my soirée, i'm very blessed! 

my boys

i live in a household of 4 boys. my husband + baby + jaxson + johnny cash. it can be a tad overwhelming with all of the testosterone but i am also very, very blessed to be amongst it. they make me laugh and fill up my heart with joy and love. in this picture i was trying to capture daddy + baby quality time before bed. they like to lay under the covers and watch a little of the goodnight show. sometimes jax + johnny like to join them and i guess this was one of those nights. but johnny is Not a fan of the camera. and lately jax has been anti camera phone as well. so i don't think their intent was to be in the photo but more trying to get dad to stop my paparazzi moment. i love how dad is trying to talk reason with them and baby just looks a lil upset that i am interrupting his show and time with dad ☺

i love you boys. i wouldn't want it any other way then the way things are. xoxo, momma

mantra

i picked up this necklace at a local arts & craft show a few months back and have been wearing it daily since. it spoke so loudly to me that i had to have it even though i don't usually buy myself things i want (vs need).  i spoke with the artist who made it briefly about how she got started and how i was really teetering the idea of starting my own business venture but being in the fear stage of starting. she told me to go for it, take the leap and that sometimes you have to fall to fly ☺

this is kinda what it's felt like. falling into a new surrounding in hopes to fly. i've been struggling a bit with the balance of switching roles; momma to creator to wife to just me. my days go by extremely fast and somedays i feel like i have gotten nothing accomplished. when my lil guy sleeps i need to switch into creator mode and get some creating done but sometimes the laundry list of to dos are screaming at me or i just need a moment to myself. but then i feel heavy with guilt if i am not in my art room creating. guilty that i am not bringing in enough income, guilty that my etsy site isn't up and running yet...  i never wanted my art to be a have to. thats the part i didn't like before when i was creating and selling for my first venture; dewdrop creative. the pressure i put on myself made my creativity completely shut down.

balance is a funny thing. i feel like its a constant desire + need and it has to be worked at continuously. trying to just go with the flow, to just be. content. still. trust that i am in the right place.

i am trying to be honest with myself and all my feelings here. i am very grateful to have started this and do still have every hope and intention to bring my dream into my reality ~ its just somedays are harder than others and its still all very new and fragile.

manifestion: i shall shine in my journey

i have a tree in my yard in which i refer to as the magic tree. i love to sit under this tree reading or writing, reflecting. i feel at peace here. i can lay back and gaze into the web of branches as the sunlight peaks through. by the roots of the tree i had placed rocks with words i had written on. words that i find comfort in. whenever i need to be reminded i go to these rocks. today i found these...

time keeps creepin on by

23 days until i turn the big 30! for those of you who follow this blog you may remember my post from last year of my list of 29 things to do before turning 30. well i thought i'd update you all with my progress. the ones in orange i have completed or am currently living by. the starred are ones in progress.

1. spoil my son 

2. dance with my husband

3. live passionately

4. document life

5. create new art

6. the magic tree   *

7. snuggle lots with my boys

8. join a gym  i joined i just don't go

9. vacation with family

10. setup a website  *

11. read lots of books (as time allows i have done my best!)

12. continue to write letters to ayden

13. learn how to sew

14. blog more

15. treasure hunt with alex

16. saturday game nights

17. revamp my business *

18. laugh often

19. star gaze

20. take a cooking class with my sisters

21. volunteer

22. spend time with me

23. swimming lessons with ayden

24. write a children's book

25. paint the blank canvas' *

26. go outside my comfort zone

27. eat new foods

28. rescue another dog (i helped chris find zipper!)

29. become pregnant

so seeing as i have very limited time to do the 8 untouched and complete the 4 in progress i may have to carry some into my list of 30 to do before 31. #29 for example just needs to wait until our creator tells us it is time ☺

lost my sign.. .

on sunday afternoon while playing in the yard with ayden, i discovered a lil scrap of paper in the grass. i read it and had an aHa moment! it read. .. be an artist. at home an artist. something to that order - it was a piece of newspaper print or from a book but it was just this lil piece that spoke SO loudly to me that i rushed to show my husband and my heart was soaring! i had been looking for a sign that i was headed in the right direction. i had been whispering to my angels, please just let me know that i am doing the right thing, that home with baby and starting my own business is right for me in this moment. and There it was.

i placed it in my art room for safe keeping only now, its gone. disappeared. did i imagine it? why is my sign NO WHERE TO BE FOUND?! maybe i only needed it for that moment. maybe the impression it left on my heart was all it was suppose to be. maybe i don't need the actual scrap of paper as a reminder...

some signs come to us and leave us just as fast. it is a subtle reminder to pay attention, the signs are all around us and best to be touched by our hearts not our hands.

yummy treats!

for my beautiful cousin's grad party i made these fun rice krispie pops!

they were very easy to make and didn't take me very long

(i made 43; i was aiming for 50 but a few just didn't make it, in under 2 hrs)

i got the idea here and just made a few tweaks to the recipe = yum!!

animal party

for my godson's fifth birthday party, i was asked to create the kids take home goodies. i had only 2 objectives:  animal theme & to stay within a budget of $30.  i decided on making a treasure box for each with a different animal and to personalize it with their name.

 

i wanted to keep it fun so i drew with colored pencils in a cartoon sort of style on paper mache boxes.

each box contained; animal crackers, a few animal tattoos, 2 stretchy lizards, a "grow" animal, an animal card game, an animal figure, and a hippo cup with a giant gummy snake.

the kids loved them (and i met my objectives)!! they were a success! hooray for another wonderful party, happy fifth birthday my terrific nephew!

*if you are interested in hiring me to help with your next event or for any further details, please email me!

way of living

now is the time to be gentle with my soul. i awake to a new beginning and i must hush all the inner & outer critics. i am building a foundation where i can flourish in my passion of words and color. as much as i desire the faith from others, it is truly only my own faith that can carry me there. i believe that i am walking in the right direction. that we must create the paths in which we want to travel. my hope is that the things i create will touch others, bringing them joy or comfort, whatever it may be that they are in need of. whenever i am in need i remind myself to look around and see that i am right where i am suppose to be. and then i see something that meets that need whether it is a word or saying, a picture or painting.

leaving our comfort zones can be scary and vulnerable but usually we stay where we are comfortable for too long or for the wrong reasons. money is a necessary evil that controls us if we let it. how many people do you know that can honestly say, i love my job. not nearly as many that should. when i tell people i left my job to be with my son and start creating my art they say you are lucky. its not about luck. its a choice. i am following my heart to do what is calling me. the first year of my sons life went by in a blink. i want to be more present before he is in school and all grown up. i want to create art while i am here and it not be something i wish i would have done. life is fragile and very short. things change so quickly that if we don't be the change today we may not have the opportunity tomorrow.

gift for the graduate

front cover (audrey hepburn print by lonny unitus)

inside front cover

inside back cover

back cover

for a special miss lauren, i made a one of a kind journal. she's quite fond of audrey hepburn so i hope she'll enjoy it. happy graduation!

*stay tuned for my etsy shop opening where you can view & purchase one of a kind creations made by me*

**this was a gift, not for resale. in no means did i take credit to creating the amazing print of audrey hepburn by the very talented lonny unitus. you can purchase the print here**

grace

to find the words to what i am feeling in this moment is surprisingly difficult. i am not usually a person who is ever at a loss for words. i am extremely grateful for all the love and support that is rushing in around me. i've taken a leap of faith in myself that i can create my art and sell it "for a living". i hate when people ask; what do you do for a living? why does a "career" define us? i want to respond with: well, i am a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a dog lover, a dreamer, spiritual, creative, sensitive, passionate, empathetic, anxious, curious being. but i suppose that is more of an answer to who i am . . . what i do is love my life, and the people i am fortunate to have in it, strive everyday at being fully present and living whole heartedly, believe that what you ask the universe for can be provided, create things that i am passionate about in hopes that another will feel inspired by.

i believe that we are all connected. i wrote an email to my loved ones asking for guidance and support in this leap and they have all replied with love and encouragement. it comforts my soul that i am indeed doing what i should be. it feels right. i had been carrying with me for years this desire and almost as if i was waiting for someone to push me off the edge of resistance. my fears were holding my ankles, whispering insecurities and doubt. well its time i kicked those fears off and into the fire. they can no longer hold me back. i will go forward, one step at a time, as gracefully as possible. knowing that i may stumble time to time. that is part of the learning. part of the journey. as i say goodbye to a job that has taught me so many things, that has been a comfort zone, a place of confidence and good income, i say hello to the many things i will learn and flourish in. hello to new opportunities and experiences... hope and inspiration. courage and strength. thank you,  you have all been a part in contributing to my dream and new reality.  

brought to you by the letter A and the number 1

to celebrate ayden's first birthday i could think of no better way then to do so in a sesame street kind of way. ayden loves sesame! and yes it's because he watches it on tv (shame on me). so instead of focusing on his favorites, which seem to be cookie monster and ernie, i decided to do an over all theme.

           

for the kids i made take home treat buckets. they were sand buckets with a character painted face and the shovel personalized with their name. each bucket had; play dough, bubbles, stickers, cookie monster cookies, goldfish crackers, a rubber ducky, and crayons.

  

there were also take home candy treats; "dorothy" (swedish fish), "slimey" (gummy worms) and "abby's magic wands" (rock candy sticks).



for the menu we had pizza slices, an elmo fruit face platter, veggie tray, chips, monster cookies, and ernie, zoe, cookie monster and grover cupcakes.

    

ayden had a personal smash cake who was no other than cookie monster himself! he was a little overwhelmed with the birthday song singing but quickly got over it when he realized he got to play in his cake. the kids enjoyed watching him smash and even dug in a little too.

ayden had the best time with all his loved ones and momma really enjoyed planning and throwing this party for her special lil guy! so much so that i really would like to get into party planning!!

(if you are interested in hiring my help shoot me an email! i was on a budget for this party and stuck to it ~ if interested in details please email me)