mantra

i picked up this necklace at a local arts & craft show a few months back and have been wearing it daily since. it spoke so loudly to me that i had to have it even though i don't usually buy myself things i want (vs need).  i spoke with the artist who made it briefly about how she got started and how i was really teetering the idea of starting my own business venture but being in the fear stage of starting. she told me to go for it, take the leap and that sometimes you have to fall to fly ☺

this is kinda what it's felt like. falling into a new surrounding in hopes to fly. i've been struggling a bit with the balance of switching roles; momma to creator to wife to just me. my days go by extremely fast and somedays i feel like i have gotten nothing accomplished. when my lil guy sleeps i need to switch into creator mode and get some creating done but sometimes the laundry list of to dos are screaming at me or i just need a moment to myself. but then i feel heavy with guilt if i am not in my art room creating. guilty that i am not bringing in enough income, guilty that my etsy site isn't up and running yet...  i never wanted my art to be a have to. thats the part i didn't like before when i was creating and selling for my first venture; dewdrop creative. the pressure i put on myself made my creativity completely shut down.

balance is a funny thing. i feel like its a constant desire + need and it has to be worked at continuously. trying to just go with the flow, to just be. content. still. trust that i am in the right place.

i am trying to be honest with myself and all my feelings here. i am very grateful to have started this and do still have every hope and intention to bring my dream into my reality ~ its just somedays are harder than others and its still all very new and fragile.