trying to take in my new surroundings
trying to take one day at a time
breath by breath
sometimes i don't even feel the tears roll down
i'm without
holding on to the ghosts in my soul
haunted by the way things were
tangled with the way things are
waiting for the sadness to lift
the calm to settle in
this is just the way things are
i cry out to let go and let god lead me
but he doesn't seem to hear my cries
i feel stuck in time
like i'm waiting for my reality to make sense
to wake up from this long twisted dream
i keep expecting him to say he changed his mind, he's sorry, i'm his everything...
when really i mean nothing to him
just disregarded
left in his shadow
i know its time to step out from his darkness
every inch of me knows to but every inch of me fights to stay. . . lingering
maybe its hope and maybe its habit
i built my whole world around him and i played the fool
left with unspoken truths
no promises to fix it, no idea on how to recover
its so much to comprehend
i'm slipping right back down, down down to this damn depression that i have danced with time and time again in my life
i don't feel strong enough to battle this again
it whispers and taunts, like its calling me home
it wants its victory
i have too much responsibility to fall into its trap completely
so i wait until all my roles for the day have been fulfilled
then i unravel in the silence
