and then some.

i haven't written in such a long while. i mean to daily but somehow time slips away from me. it falls to the bottom of my mundane to dos. i've always struggled with balance (as you know if you read my blog). so much is happening in my world these days.  being a new owner of a clothing boutique with my mom and sister is of the newest. the adventure started brewing in august but didn't become official and public until September 15th. it has always been a dream of mine to own a boutique with my family and the opportunity presented itself so unexpected but it was something we could not pass up ~ a gift that was graciously accepted. so i now am back in the working world. working 30+ hours in and out of the store. learning so many things. i hadn't a clue to fashion but its actually quite exciting. i had worked briefly in retail prior but being an employee is quite different than being an owner! but i have a great mentor; my momma. it is so touching to see her interact with customers that value her opinion and come in specifically to see her. (she had been an employee at Elodie and managing the store before we took over ownership)

each day brings something new. i am either working or momma or creating my art. it feels great to be contributing financially to my family again and in doing something that i am passionate about. how great is that? so why does my heart weigh heavy this morning? sleep deprivation could be a part of it. baby a has had many sleepless nights this week and somehow i always end up the one being up with him. i don't know if its his teeth or bad dreams but he wakes up around 3am crying out and can not be comforted to go back to sleep. so we watch cartoons for about an hour when he falls asleep cuddling me and then i lay him back down for a few more hours of sleep. can i fall back asleep then? oh no. my mind starts to tally the day ahead to dos. so i end up maybe getting 20 minutes of sleep before its time to get up with the rest of the house. and last night baby a was up off and on all night with the start of yet another cold. the poor lil guy couldn't breath through his nose so i laid him down in the bed next to me which you know just leads to you Not sleeping because you are so aware of him being right there and you hear every lil cough and feel every lil kick. oh how long the day will be.

Baby Froehle Shower

my lil sister J is having a baby!! i recently had the pleasure of planning her baby shower and wanted to show you all the details. whenever i am starting to plan an event i make an inspiration board with ideas pulled from the dandy internet. i start by discussing with the host what they are looking for; theme & colors, etc. for J, she was really open to whatever as long as i incorporated her colors + elephants. (l♥v having creative power) here's her inspiration board...

from here i went into plan & design mode.

thanks to Nicole here are some pictures from the shower...

hope you enjoyed your shower J! i loved planning it!

thank you to Mom, A & N for hosting!!

A + me + J

at the end of the day

at the end of the day, you have done all that you could. so many things are out of our hands and up to the universe. all we can do is pray. and sometimes are prayers are answered. . .. ☺

first days

today was the first day of school for my godson alex. i sat and reminisced over the memories of the last five years of his life and how quickly they have passed. he is who taught me the definition of love at first sight. when i met him the day he was born i fell instantaneously in love. it is hard to put into words what my heart + soul felt in that moment. and it wasn't until baby a was born i felt it all over again. there is a difference in feeling an instant connection with someone and love at first sight.

alex is the the definition of boy wonder. he has a photographic memory and is full of did you knows and animal wisdom. he is sensitive and kind and very witty. i know he will do wonderfully in school i just can't believe the day is already here! baby a and i wanted to wish him well on his new venture so we sent him this picture message to view before heading to the bus stop.

of course this was during a's mickey mouse time so he was a little distracted.

his momma sent us this picture of him waiting for the bus. so proud of you alex! may school bring you much knowledge and new friends. can't wait to hear all about what you are learning!!

currently buzzing in my head.. .. .

how do you catch a cold when you are ALREADY suffering from allergies?
i probably should be napping while he is.
why can't i ever sleep through the night?
need to wrap up all the details for my sisters shower.
tired of waiting for a Go-ahead for our venture. damn the man!
why does he bark like mad when i take his picture?? what the hell is his problem?
what am i making for dinner ~ maybe someone else can cook tonight.
how can i make my etsy more successful??
the mickey mouse theme song on repeat.
why haven't i learned how to sew?
is my nephew already starting kindergarten? where the hell did the last 5 yrs go?!
it is days like today why i still live here.

the weight of it all

i can feel the tears swelling, just waiting for me to allow them to come. i am so overwhelmed with my emos today and i realize they are stemming mostly from hormones. i can't seem to get my mind to rest these nights and my anxiety seems to bubbling in my veins. there is so much change amongst us its hard to stay in the optimistic mindset. i'm usually a very optimistic person, believing that we have the power to create what we want to be present in our lives. (good + bad)

i've never worried about money. i'm neither frivolous nor frugal, somewhere in the middle i guess. but these days i feel like money is being sucked right out the window. not having a full-time steady income is obvious showing its results. it was a bold move to step away from a comfort zone of a biweekly paycheck but one i knew i had to make. i couldn't stay where money was the only motivator. but now i can see the weight i have placed on my husbands shoulders and cannot help but feel that i was selfish in my decision. trying to keep the faith in myself is a bit of a struggle when i can see the effects it is causing in my family. it was never my intention to have him be the provider. my desire was to be able to spend more time with my son and to provide by selling my creations.

meanwhile, another opportunity has presented itself in my life as well as my family's. its very unexpected and very appealing to us all. something i cannot currently go into deal here but hope to be able to very soon. all i can say is that it is moving at full speed and causing a mix of emotions for us all. trying to manifest the best possible outcome and to see that the reason its presented itself is so we can do what we've only dreamed of being able to do together. *this is how i am able to believe we create what we desire.

so i'm trying to keep my head above water. remain optimistic and not let my anxieties take control. i am craving 8 hrs of uninterrupted sleep. without the aid of a sleeping pill ~ i refuse to take those lil buggers.

reminder to self

100% committed

hello . .. are you there?!

sometimes i get so wrapped up in my world that i find myself calling to myself ~ hello, are you there?!   meaning that i get so busy with filling others needs that i forget to check in with me and take care of her too. does this make sense? let me try to better explain my thoughts here...

with the daily diaper changes, feedings and playtime and the pet me, scratch me, let me outside, and the dinner made, laundry washed, floors cleaned, story time and ahh sweet, sweet bedtime, when do i actually check in with her?

i was self reflecting after spending sunday afternoon with my sisters, mother, nephew and son, oh and the two crazy very needy dogs. (chaos? why yes, a lil) we were planning my youngest sisters baby shower (or trying to) and i was feeling pulled in the following directions: one part of my mind creating ideas invites, games and inspiration for a theme and another part on what is my son into now, another part on listening to my pregnant sisters talk clothes, another part listening to my nephews did you knows, another part hushing the non stop barking of the dogs. i should note that by sunday i am pretty frazzled from the long week i've already had. i never seem to get any "me" time in. anyway, i decided to gather the troops and quickly run a few errands before baby a needed his nap. i was zeroed in at getting at least one thing off the to do list, leading the pack in and out of a few stores. and then leaving them to venture to the next stop without us because baby was so ready for nap. ahh, quiet time. nope because my dogs BARk at every lil noise they hear. and the very friendly neighbor wants to chat and then the troops are back and the dogs have woken up baby. damn it.

after everybody left i felt horrible for my distracted slightly cranky mood. they even called later to see how i was doing. i certainly didn't show that i had it all together did i? they expressed concern that i drink too much caffeine and don't eat enough food. can you blame me? i need the caffeine to function and who has time to eat?! (ok, i know that i need to get this in check, i am working on it) but also concerned that i am stretching myself to the limit in so many directions. but as i have mentioned before, i have a lil chaos in my world but somehow i love my chaos. i like switching gears and being involved in a number of things but currently having a lil trouble with my balancing act.

i am getting away from where i was going with on this post. (a.d.d, sorry) i've noted that i need to keep her in the top priorities and constantly check in. but in all my bitching here the question is: am i happy? hell yes i am happy! i have so many wonderful elements to be happy about. and i started last night by taking the time to be pampered and went and had my hair done last night. any lady knows this is a wonderful treatment and way to spend time with yourself ☺

i may be 30 but it doesn't mean i am going to let myself go and be boring!

what i've got

so blessed and beyond touched by all the beautiful birthday wishes + gifts! what a wonderful start to 30!!  i feel compelled to list out how truly fortunate i am for the presence of the following in my life:

♥ my amazing son
♥ my beloved husband
♥ my cozy home

♥ my dedicated family

♥ my encouraging friends

♥ my fun-loving dogs

♥ my good health 

♥ my heartfelt creativity

♥ my interminable spirituality

♥ my journey of momma-hood
♥ my kindhearted father
♥ my lamb-like nephews and niece
♥ my magnificent mother
♥ my never-ending inspiration
♥ my obtainable goals
♥ my persistent drive
♥ my quiet times
♥ my relentless curiosity
♥ my sensible sobriety
♥ my tangible truth
♥ my unbelievable sisters
♥ my valiant efforts
♥ my wholehearted support
♥ my youthful heart
♥ my zealous personality