begin again

i haven't publicly written in months. i've been spilling it all out onto private journal pages. sometimes in a fury, sometimes through tears. but i'm known to wear my heart on my sleeve so to endure such happenings private is more foreign than comfort. maybe its the perfectionist in me that holds back from spilling here in case of typos or judgements. today it feels right to begin again.

to update; i am a single mother of two of the most dearest gems. ayden + asylin but often referred to as boog + bird. they keep me busy, they give me hope and they are my everything.

the "d" became final this fall but we are nearing a year of separation. divorce has been like a death, as i have ridden the waves of the seven stages of grief. i can comfortably say that i am sitting in the drivers seat of #7 acceptance + hope. but truthfully there are days when i can slide back into any of the other 6 stages.

we are co-parenting our lil gems the best we can as it is a learning experience for us all. and somehow through this year i can now see that this is the best decision for us all. think what you may but to stay in a marriage for the kids is not something i believe was best for them, and i think he'd agree.

but this place is to not bash or get into nitty-gritty details of the "d". it's for my soul to heal, and to share who i am with those who care to explore and ride my journey with me. i heal and grow through my sharing, through my truths, through my art and my writing. i'm no longer willing to live in fears or shadows. i am ready to leap into the life i know i can attain.