a string of nights

its amazing how you can function on very little sleep. the last few nights my son has decided that sleeping at night is over rated. he'd much rather eat and be held. who wouldn't rather cuddle? but every hour? really? so it goes a little like this; we go to bed around 10 and maybe sleep until midnight then i feed him and he falls asleep on the job! i tickle his toes and behind his ear. nothing. they tell you to undress them. so i pull up his pjs so his legs are exposed. he may wake up but only to pacify on me, not eat. and ayden, mom can tell the difference.

i feel a little like a dairy cow. pumping and feeding and pumping and freezing. trying to get a stock for when i go back to work next week. and sadly i think he is starting to prefer the bottle. he doesn't seem to have to work as hard. this is great for when dad or nanny want to feed him but makes me a little sad. i loved the bonding that meal time gave us! and its much easier in the middle of the night than warming up a bottle. i'm contemplating giving him formula at his bedtime feeding in hopes he will sleep a little longer? momma can function at home on 5 to 6 hrs of interrupted sleep but at work? hmm. . .

so this morning i decided to put him in his swing so he could rock himself into a sweet dream state. and as i am making coffee i hear the strangest, slightly scary sound coming from the swing. great, the batteries are going. i look at ayden and he had this little look of concern on his face. what is that i am hearing?? momma can push the swing by hand. and now he is sleeping with a smile and here i sit wide eyed and bushy tailed. maybe he's right, sleep is over rated.